It’s Unstreamable! Where Jas Keimig and Chase Burns recommend movies and TV shows you can't watch on major streaming services in the United States. We post on Wednesdays unless we’re tired or busy.
We know it’s been awhile since we’ve updated this column (miss you), but we’re back with some excellent news – Unstreamable is on a big screen again! We’re teaming up with SIFF to bring six films you can’t find on any streaming services: Gummo (1997), To Live and Die in L.A. (1985), Super Mario Bros on 35mm (1993), Pink Flamingos (1972), and two secret screenings. The films are spread out over the next eight months, but check the poster and pencil us in.
Our first screening,Gummo, is coming up next week – November 21st at 7:30pm at the SIFF Film Center. Reserve your tickets now (seating is limited!!) and read on for more about Harmony Korine’s twisted smalltown film and one other new nstreamable goodie.
Got a recommendation? Tell us at unstreamablemovies@gmail.com.
USA, 1997, 89 minutes, Dir. Harmony Korine
Shot in Nashville but set in tornado-ravaged Xenia, Ohio, Gummo feels like a fever dream you can't shake. The film follows Solomon and Tummler, two glue-huffing teens who make pocket money by drowning cats, but that's just the beginning of this midwestern odyssey. Three sisters are trapped in an endless summer of neglect, a grandmother is tended to by her cross-dressing grandson, and a pair of skinhead brothers turn their kitchen into a boxing ring. Korine, who would later direct Spring Breakers and this year's neon nightmare Aggro Dr1ft, shoots it all through a kaleidoscope of formats—Super 8, Polaroids, VHS—creating something that feels less like a movie and more like an art installation gone sideways.
Gummo sparked outrage when it premiered in 1997, with some critics calling it exploitative poverty porn while others hailed it as a raw masterpiece. But both sides missed the point. The movie isn't poverty tourism or shock for shock's sake—it's American Gothic turned up to 11, where even the most disturbing moments are shot with a strange beauty. Like finding a dead cat floating in a pool of glitter, Gummo is both repulsive and mesmerizing.
Fair warning: This film isn't for everyone. But if you're willing to follow Korine down this rabbit hole, you'll find something unlike anything else in American cinema.
Come see a screening of Gummo on Thursday, November 21 at the SIFF Film Center. (Or find it in Scarecrow’s Drama section.)
Japan, 1985, 80 minutes, Directed by Toyoo Ashida
Vampire Hunter D is equal parts gorgeous, spooky, and horny. Adapted from Hideyuki Kikuchi and Yoshitaka Amano’s best-selling novel series, this film is set 10,000 years in the future — 12,090 CE — after the planet endured a nuclear holocaust that made life a lot harder, to say the least. When Doris Lang – the orphaned daughter of a deceased werewolf hunter — gets bitten by Count Magnus Lee, she calls for the help of the sexy, mysterious D, a half-vampire/half-human vampire hunter to save her from her fate.
There’s a romantic, gothic feel to the character designs and set pieces throughout the film — D has billowing black hair, there are castles with spindrel-y towers, and drapey capes galore. Despite being made on a budget with limited technical quality, Vampire Hunter D still feels rich and big, a testament to the world-building of the original novels. The film is also of note because it’s widely recognized as one of the first animes plainly marketed for older teens and young adults as well as being an early OVA (original video animation which is basically like a popular direct-to-video release in Japan). Watch then one and then rent Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, another unstreamable entry into vampire-ravaged fantasy world. JAS KEIMIG
Find it in the Animation section under Anime. Or rent it by mail.
*The fine print: Unstreamable means we couldn’t find it on Netflix, Hulu, Shudder, Disney+, or any of the other hundreds of streaming services available in the United States. We also couldn’t find it available for rent or purchase through platforms like Prime Video or iTunes. We don’t consider films on sites that interrupt with commercial breaks, like Tubi, to be streamable. Tubi is like Neu Cable. And yes, we know you can find many things online illegally, but we don’t consider user-generated videos, like unauthorized YouTube uploads, to be streamable.
