It’s Unstreamable! Where Jas Keimig and Chase Burns recommend movies and TV shows you can't watch on major streaming services in the United States. We post on Wednesdays unless we’re tired or busy 😊
JAS: We lost the great Dutch actor Rutger Hauer four years ago last week, so what better way to honor the sleek movie star than with an ode in our little column?
CHASE: And for my contribution this week… Rutger Hauer is not in my pick… but other dead people are!
Got a recommendation? Give us the scoop at unstreamablemovies@gmail.com.
Netherlands | Belgium, 1977, 155 minutes, Dir. Paul Verhoeven
Rutger Hauer — in America his commanding stature, intense cheekbones, and European accent put him firmly in villain territory, but in his native Holland he's a sophisticated hero. At least that's who he plays in Paul Verhoeven's Soldier of Orange, an epic about World War II centered around a group of students in the Netherlands. Based on an autobiographical book, Hauer plays the aloof yet courageous Erik, a Dutch resistance spy who finds himself serving his exiled queen, crossing paths with fascists and hot sexually open women alike. This film helped introduce Hauer to an international (American) audience with him going on to star in one of the most iconic films in history. Though Soldier of Orange is a rather by-the-numbers affair—with a lot more tongue-in-cheek humor than you might expect—you must watch for the scene where an undercover Erik dances the tango with a university mate who went full-blown Nazi. It's a tense (and a little homoerotic) scene that realizes the stakes of the situation without being too melodramatic. And incredibly convincing of Hauer's star quality. JAS KEIMIG
Find it in the Directors section under VERHOEVEN, PAUL.
US, 1932, 78 min, Dir. Dorothy Arzner
It's always a good time to revisit Dorothy Arzner, the first female director to break into the Hollywood system.
In an essay for Criterion’s recent reissue of Arzner’s pre-Code film Merrily We Go To Hell, professor Judith Mayne highlighted that Arzner had a gift for making female actors stars. The famous director (and lesbian!) helped launch the reputations of Katharine Hepburn, Clara Bow, and others. And in this film, Arzner presents actress Sylvia Sidney, whose clever and soulful performance here feels a lifetime away from the role today’s audiences might know her from—the chain-smoking caseworker for the dead in Beetlejuice.
Merrily’s basic set-up is that an heiress named Joan (Sidney) falls in love with a drunk reporter named Jerry (Fredric March). And while it’s a remarkable time capsule of the upper-class prohibition-era drunkenness of the early '30s, its most revelatory strokes are around adultery. When Joan discovers Jerry's infidelity, she decides to commit some infidelity of her own, openly going on dates with another stud (Cary Grant) in front of Jerry. It’s got big cuck vibes, and the Sidney and Arzner partnership is a force. CHASE BURNS
Find it in the Directors section under AZNER, DOROTHY.
Looking for more? Browse our big list of 350+ hard-to-find movies over on The Stranger.
*The fine print: Unstreamable means we couldn’t find it on Netflix, Hulu, Shudder, Disney+, or any of the other hundreds of streaming services available in the United States. We also couldn’t find it available for rent or purchase through platforms like Prime Video or iTunes. Yes, we know you can find many things online illegally, but we don’t consider user-generated videos, like unauthorized YouTube uploads, to be streamable.
